10 reasons why constant complaining is so toxic at work - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog

10 reasons why constant complaining is so toxic at work - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog Back when I was still working in the tech industry (I was a software developer for a small consulting company in my second job out of university) I had a boss that was shall we say unpopular. My co-workers and I hated his guts and we complained ceaselessly about him. It got to the point where we couldnt start a meeting, have lunch in the cafeteria, or even go out for a beer without spending half an hour complaining about him. We whined about his attitude, his stupidity, his meddling, his spinelessness hell, even his dress sense came under fire. But then again, he is the only manager who has ever interviewed me wearing a narrow 80s style purple, fake-leather tie. But did we ever tell him? Nooooooo! While we were bitching and moaning to ourselves, he blithely went on as usual because no one ever complained to him. Which mightve made sense when you think about it Looking back, Im not sure that complaining to him would have worked I think he was incorrigible but one thing is for damn sure: Our moaning about it did not improve things one little bit. That kind of chronic complaining in the workplace, justified or not, leads to no good. In fact, in can be downright toxic and can help make a department or even a whole company a terrible place to work. Heres why constant complaining is so bad: 1: It makes things look worse than they are When people complain, they focus only on whats wrong. Things may be mostly fine in the company, but complainers only talk about the problems, annoyances and peeves they perceive. If things in a company are 80% good and 20% bad and you spend most of your time thinking and talking about the bad 20% the situation will look a lot worse than it really is. 2: It becomes a habit The more you complain, the easier it gets. In the end, everything is bad, every situation is a problem, every co-worker is a jerk and nothing is good. The more you focus on the negative, the harder it gets to switch into a positive mindset. 3: You get what you focus on According to Wikipedia, Confirmation bias is: a tendency to search for or interpret new information in a way that confirms ones preconceptions and avoid information and interpretations which contradict prior beliefs. In other words, what you already believe influences your perception of everything around you. Thats why constant complaining makes you see everything in a negative light, because your subconscious mind tries to make new observation fit with what you already know. 4: It leads to onedownmanship A complaining session might go something like this: The other day, my boss came in 5 minutes before I was leaving and asked me to finish two huge projects for him. I had to stay two hours and missed my football game. Yeah, well my boss told me to work this weekend AND the next. Hah, thats nothing! My boss This type of interaction rewards the person with the worst story who can complain the loudest. Not healthy! 5: It makes people despondent Not only does constant complaining make you see the workplace as worse than it really is, but because youre constantly hearing stories of how bad things are and how theyre constantly getting worse it also destroys all hope that things can get better. This of course makes people less likely to take action to improve their situation, because everybody knows its doomed to fail anyway. 6: It kills innovation Because the situations looks so hopeless, people become less creative and innovative. Whats the point of coming up with ideas and implementing them its never going to work anyway. Also, chronic complainers are the first to shoot down any new idea. 7: It favors negative people The way to get status among complainers is to be the most negative. To be the one who sees everything in the most negative light. Any attempt to be positive or cheerful will be shot down and optimists will be accused of being Pollyanna, naive and unrealistic. 8: It promotes bad relationships People who complain together unite against the world and can create strong internal relationships based on this. But these relationships are based mostly on negative experiences. Thats not healthy. It also means that you can only continue to be a part of the group if you can continue to complain, miring you even deeper in a complaint mindset. 9: It creates cliques Being positive, optimistic and appreciative makes you more open towards other people no matter who they are. It becomes easy to connect to co-workers in other departments, projects or divisions. Complaining, on the other hand, makes people gather in cliques with their fellow complainers where they can be critical and suspicious of everybody else. 10: Pessimism is bad for you Research in positive psychology has shown that people who see the world in a positive light have a long list of advantages, including: They live longer Theyre healthier They have more friends and better social lives They enjoy life more Theyre more successful at work We sometimes think that pessimists and complainers have the edge because they see problems sooner but the truth is that optimists not only lead better lives, theyre also more successful because they believe that what theyre doing is going to work. The upshot Constant complaining in the workplace is toxic. It can drain the happiness, motivation, creativity and fun from a whole company. Wherever its going on it must be addressed and handled properly. Im NOT saying that we should never complain at work quite the contrary. If you see a problem in your workplace, complain to whoever can do something about it. What we should avoid at all costs, is constant bitching and moaning, where were always complaining about the same things, to the same people, in the same way, day in and day out. So what can we do about it? Well first of all, each of us can learn to complain constructively. This means learning to complain in a way that leads to the problem being fixed rather than to more complaining. Heres my post on how you can How to complain constructively. Secondly, we can learn to deal with the chronic complainers we meet at work. Unfortunately, our traditional strategies like trying to cheer them up or suggesting solutions for their problems dont work because complainers arent looking for encouragement or solutions. Heres my post on how to deal with chronic complainers. Finally, you can train your own ability to be positive. Just like complaining can become a habit, so can being appreciative, optimistic and grateful. You could declare today a positive day, you could take a few minutes at the end of every work day to write down five good experiences from that day or you could praise a co-worker. Try it and let me know how it goes! Your take But what do you think? Do you know any chronic complainers at work? What is their impact? How do you complain, when you see a problem? Please write a comment, Id really like to know! Related Here are some related posts about workplace complaining: Want more effective meetings? Start them with something positive. A real-life story on how being positive helps at work Go complain. Right now! Thanks for visiting my blog. If you're new here, you should check out this list of my 10 most popular articles. And if you want more great tips and ideas you should check out our newsletter about happiness at work. 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